dar334

While sitting at the Cancer Center this morning while Opdivo was being infused into my husband through the port in his chest, I had my Kindle in hand, open to the book “Moses: A Man of Selfless Dedication” by Charles R. Swindoll. This book has been in my library for long time but I’ve neglected to read it. My intentions are always good, but I lack the follow through. Before the new year was under way, I made the decision to finish the projects I had started and spend less time trying to rescue the bears or spread the jelly. I needed to be productive.

Most of you will think of Moses as the man that God gave the Ten Commandments to or possibly the movie with Charlton Heston, but the Moses I am pondering is the infant that should have been thrown into the Nile upon his birth.

Moses was born during a time when the Hebrews were slaves in Egypt. Joseph had long been gone and the Hebrews were multiplying at a fast rate when the new pharaoh began to fear they would revolt and take over the land of Egypt. He sent word to the Hebrew midwives to kill the baby boys upon birth but let the girls live. When Moses was born his parents hid him for three months. When it became too difficult to hide him any longer, his Mother put him in a basket in the reeds of the Nile River and had his sister Mariam watched him. He wasn’t there long when the Pharaoh’s daughter and her servants came to the Nile so the princess could bathe. They heard the cries of baby Moses and plucked him out of the Nile. The princess fell in love with him and decided to keep him as her own. The problem was feeding him. Mariam quickly arrived on the scene and offered to find a Hebrew woman to nurse the baby …… and yes, his mother got to fill that position. She cared for him for a few years before ultimately, she had to give him back to the princess.

Now is where the “gene pool” comes in to play. A good majority of Moses’ life was lived in an elaborate home of the King of Egypt, as the son of the King’s daughter. Yet he watched “his” people, the Hebrews, being treated poorly and took it upon himself to show them kindness. Long story short, he killed an Egyptian that was beating one of the Hebrews and had to run for his life.

In my reading of the book his morning, the writer touches on the important role a mother plays in the development of her children. He speaks about a woman who had 19 children, Susanna Wesley. The fifteenth child born to her was named John. John Wesley was the one who spearheaded Methodism. His younger brother Charles wrote over eight thousand hymns. One of her strategies for rearing children was this: “When my child turns one year old, and some before then, he is taught to fear the rod and cry softly, by which he escapes an abundance of correction which he might otherwise have had.” Mr. Swindoll goes on to say that you can have all the faith in the world, but if you have no consistent plan for discipline, you run a circus, not a family. Now that little bleep from the book doesn’t factor in my ponder, but I see this, or the lack of this, every day in this world. It’s becoming a full fledged circus. Mr. Swindoll also writes about the importance of children being raised by their mother through their adolescent years if at all possible. He suggests giving up luxuries until your children are raised. The instruction book teaches that. Now before you get your pantyhose in a knot about teaching the fear of the rod, I started the discipline process as soon as the negative behavior started. I didn’t beat my kids, I didn’t draw blood or leave bruises, and child protective services never needed to be called, but they were taught consequences shortly after they started crawling. If they were smart enough to figure out how to crawl across the floor and snatch up something they shouldn’t snatch up, they got their chubby little hands slapped and were taken back out to the middle of the floor where the things they could snatch up were. It didn’t take long for them to figure out what “no” meant and what would happen if they disobeyed.

Now back to the gene pool. Several times in the Old Testament it’s written that God wanted certain groups of people “completely wiped out”. Don’t even spare the children. At first I thought this was brutal, but when you think about the genes you can see his point. There are tons of things that are passed on through genes, things that could never be taught or learned. I will use the example of fears. My husband has a fear of insects. The gene that produces this fear skipped a generation but reared it’s ugly head in our granddaughter. The fire engine red hair gene skipped myself and my siblings, it also skipped our children, but it fired up loud and clear in the great-grandchildren of the “gene”. Obesity, alcoholism, rage, can all be passed on through genes. God’s intention was to rid the earth of those negative gene carriers thus creating a world free from the bad genes. But it didn’t work because people didn’t obey.

The first time I had the privilege to study the life of Moses was in the Disciple Study. Moses had an uncanny softness in his heart for the Hebrews, although he was raised as an Egyptian. He should have despised them, hated them, mistreated them. But during the time in his life when he was most susceptible, a sponge if you will, his parents were filling him with their faith in the one and only God. He knew theses were his people and he cared for them. Little did he know that he would be the one to save them from their life of slavery and take them to the Promised Land. A land full of richness. The unfortunate part of his story is he doesn’t get to live in that land.

I hope I’ve given you the want, the want to open the instruction book and read about Moses.

Pondering on,

-dar

Before I get too far in my pondering, I try to at least understand what I’m about to ponder.  Now mind you, my ability to understand something probably would rank about a five on a scale of one to ten.   And for the most part, I spend a lot of time pondering whether I should ponder about something or not, sometimes getting so deep in the pondering that I ponder myself out.  (Ha.  This just, as my Dad would have said, “puts me in mind of” Romans 7:15-20.  I urge you to read it. Go ahead.  I’ll wait.)

…………………………………………………..

Because of the vast amount of wrong information out there, and the sad realization that you can’t believe anything anybody says anymore, and you can’t believe anything that you read, and we live in an age where a man’s word means nothing, nor does his signature on a document, I resorted to an old book of definitions that I can trust … Webster’s Dictionary.  Webster defines respect as follows:

1. a relation or reference to a particular thing or situation:  remarks having respect to an earlier plan   2.  an act of giving particular attention : consideration  3a : high or special regard:  esteem  b : the quality or state of being esteemed  c respects plural : expressions of high or special regard or deference:  paid our respects  4: particular, detail :  a good plan in some respects

In my simple mind, when I think of the word “respect” it’s 3a.  I was raised to respect.  As I grew up, more and more people were added to my “respect”  list.  It started with my parents and quickly moved to my family, my friends, my doctors, the authorities, my educators, anyone older than me, my employers, and last but not least, my husband and my children and my Pastors.   At 60 years old, I still struggle with calling my 9th grade algebra teacher “Darrell”.  I feel like referring to him by his first name is showing disrespect.

Now here’s where it gets tricky.  I just put “dis” in front of respect.  Without going to Webster, I know by adding those 3 simple letters in front of respect totally changes the meaning.  Not only does it change the meaning, it changes everything.

I’ve pondered the fact that I’ve come to point in various situations during my life that I’ve actually felt “disrespect” for some of those mentioned in my list above.  Feelings I once thought could never be changed.  It’s caused many sleepless nights and filled me with anger and at the same time great sadness.

Today that feeling of disrespect surfaced again.  I immediately went to google to see if there was a self-help book out there, an article, anything that would help me with this feeling I despised so much.  It was when I found some scripture that made the light bulb come on.  Not just a measly 25w bulb, but a 1000w flood light!  That scripture was written by Paul in his letter to the Colossians.  Chapter 3, verses 23 and 24. (and now I’m very upset there is a squiggly red line under ‘Colossians’ indicating it’s not a word ….. SERIOUSLY?!!  And we wonder why the world is like it is!)

My realization with the flood light is that I’ve been giving “respect” to mere humans, humans that can let me down, disappoint me, even hurt me, when I should have been giving my respect it to God, who won’t let me down, won’t disappoint me.  And how do I know this?  He’s made a promise.

Now with the help of google, I’ve been led to believe that the normal person can read 200 words a minute.  I’m now at 624 words, so that means that this has been about 2 – 4 minutes of your life you can never get back.

Sorry about that,

-dar

Everybody has a “go to” phrase.  I’ve heard several, some of which I pray to never hear again.  Some even incite immediate rage in me because they are so “junior high”.  Some aren’t even verbal but visual, again causing rage.  The one that I go to several times a day is this: “Somebody has to be the butt”.  And yes, sometimes I say the bad word for butt, it depends on the reason I’m saying it.  Not acceptable in the eyes of God, but that’s how I justify it.

My “go to” phrase was incited by the Disciple study a few years back when we read and discussed these verses from Paul in 1 Corinthians 12:

¹² There is one body, but it has many parts. But all its many parts make up one body. It is the same with Christ. ¹³ We were all baptized by one Holy Spirit. And so we are formed into one body. It didn’t matter whether we were Jews or Gentiles, slaves or free people. We were all given the same Spirit to drink. ¹⁴ So the body is not made up of just one part. It has many parts.

Courtesy of the study note for this verse, Paul compares the body of Christ to a human body.  Each part has a specific function that is necessary to the body as a whole.  The parts are different for a purpose, and in their differences they must work together.

Thus my go to phrase:  Somebody has to be the butt.

Ponder that,

-dar

Yes.  Brooks and Dunn.  One of the reasons I started listening to Country music. I’ve boot scooted and boogied all around the state of Michigan to sing and dance at one of their concerts.  Twelve concerts to be exact.  All with my daughter.  Twelve.  We  have been “on the hill” and “in row 2”.  We have laughed and cried.  We have caught streamers.  We have had fun adult beverages, and have bought countless t-shirts, good times.  Good memories.

Brooks and Dunn parted ways in 2010.  I blame them for my whole world heading south.  They started it.  That same year our daughter was diagnosed with MS.  And our son’s wife decided she didn’t love him anymore and divorced him.  I would like to rant about divorce and the effects it has on everyone but I won’t go there.  He has since remarried and this new wife is perfect for him, I love her.

I read on Facebook this morning that Brooks and Dunn will be appearing at the Faster Horses Concert this summer.  Currently I am sitting at my desk with their music blasting out of the speakers off my computer.  Well, not necessarily blasting, but we can hear it pretty good.  Now I need to work this in to a christian based ponder …..

Ok, we saw them twelve times.  The number of disciples.  The number of tribes.  The number of sons Jacob had.  Twelve is a good number.  They also have a song called “Believe”.  I have found comfort in this song.  Comfort that I know it doesn’t all end on earth.  Death on earth is not the end, it is the beginning.  I believe. The chorus is as follows:

“I raise my hands, bow my head
I’m finding more and more truth in the words written in red
They tell me that there’s more to life than just what i can see

I can’t quote the book
The chapter or the verse
You can’t tell me it all ends
In a slow ride in a hearse
You know I’m more and more convinced
The longer that i live
Yeah, this can’t be
No, this can’t be
No, this can’t be all there is”

One thing I have noticed when I’m on a country station is that they have a steadfast belief in God and they are proud to tell you that.  You rarely find a country artist or group that can’t belt out a good old hymn.  And we already have the Faster Horses Concert on our calendar, a screaming, crying, dancing, concert may be just what this ‘ol girl needs.  I won’t ask God to get us good seats, but I will ask that he gets us safely there and then safely home.

I can ponder about anything,

-dar

Another Saturday morning with study, or because of my OCD I’m actually being led to doing other things, like creating an Excel Spreadsheet of places and tribes in the Bible because I can’t mentally file them in the right places, and then opening my Kindle only to find a topic to ponder about, and then feeling the pull to write about it, and of course my laptop wasn’t connected to the wifi so I had to restart it ……. and now here I am, two cups of coffee later.

In the past, I’ve found myself feeling uncomfortable around people who make references to Biblical things during normal conversations and have even considered avoiding them.  Because of my studies, I’ve realized that I was the one in the wrong and what they were doing should be the “norm”.  And because of a recent comment about regularly referencing God’s word, I’ve come to the conclusion that those who find it uncomfortable haven’t read the Instruction Book.  Again, if I’m barking up the wrong tree, I ask that you find the book, chapter, and verse in the Instruction Book where we are told to keep quiet about God’s word.

As I opened my Kindle this morning I found myself in the book “Defying Gravity” by Tom Berlin that I’ve been reading.  It was a study done a few months back that I didn’t attend and now I’ve felt the need to read it.  God can only help you through difficult times if you OPEN THE BOOK! or GET OUT OF THE BOAT!  (insert a wink at Erin)

The verse that hit me was in the book of Matthew, chapter 10, verse 38:

“Those who don’t pick up their crosses and follow me aren’t worthy of me.  Those who find their lives will lose them, and those who lose their lives because of me will find them.”

And then to the study note:

10:38 To take up our cross and follow Jesus means to be willing to publicly identify with him, to experience certain opposition, and to be willing to face even suffering and death for his sake.

Now I feel satisfied enough to continue on to Genesis 25-26, then work on a purse I recently bought a pattern for which is ending up costing me more than it would have had I shopped with Vera Bradley.

There’s always something constructive to ponder about,

-dar

Ad*ver*si*ty      (ədˈvərsədē)      noun       difficulties; misfortune

My daily Bible reading plan sent me to Job right smack dab in the middle of reading the book of Genesis.  Hats off to the ones who took it upon themselves to create a chronological plan, Job fits nicely smack dab ………………………… (thought process interruption by Tonya who shared with me her love of pears) ……………………………… Anyways …. between God causing the people to babel and God calling on Abram, we have the book of Job.

Job lived in Uz.  He was blameless and upright; he feared God and shunned evil.  He had quite a prosperous farm and a large number of servants.  He was, and I quote, “the greatest man among all the people of the East.”  One day Satan presented himself before the Lord and God asked him where he had been.  Satan told God he had been roaming throughout the earth.  The topic of Job came up and Satan said the only reason Job was so good was because God had blessed him.  Satan claimed that if God took away all he had then he would certainly curse God.  That’s when Job’s suffering began.  Satan killed Job’s entire family, his entire flock, all of his servants, he destroyed everything.  Job still did not curse God so Satan then afflicted Job with painful sores from head to foot.  Job still did not curse God, Satan had lost the battle.  God then restored Job’s health and restored his wealth to much more than he had before the test.

So often, especially recently, I have struggled with the reason for our continued testing.  Prior to the past couple years though, I didn’t consider them tests.  I can only assume we’ve passed each one since we seem to be advancing to even harder tests.  Graduation will definitely be a joyous celebration!

I’ve had the following excerpt from my study notes for Job 1:9 highlighted for several days and have often went back to it during difficult moments.  I’ve also stopped and said a quick prayer for those that do not seem to have deep roots.

Satan accurately analyzed why many people trust God. They are fair-weather believers, following God only when everything is going well or for what they can get. Adversity destroys this superficial faith. But adversity strengthens real faith by causing believers to dig their roots deeper into God in order to withstand the storms. How deep does your faith go? Put the roots of your faith down deep into God so that you can withstand any storm you may face.

Pondering is my safety harness.

dar

As I’m sitting at my desk this morning there seems to be a lull in the needs of the customers and the team members of this small business.  I have written up several service calls and made my way through the numerous emails in my inbox.

As the paperwork shuffle began, I started pondering Martin Luther King Jr.  He popped in my mind as I thought about the many places that are closed today in observance of his birth in 1929.   First and foremost, there would be no mail delivery.  To be embarrassingly honest, in my entire life, I’ve had no respect for MLK Jr.  As I sat here thinking about yesterday’s worship service and what our Pastor shared with us involving Mr. King, I started thinking about how shallow the reasons for my feelings were; they stemmed from the prejudices of a man I had nothing but admiration for, my Dad, God bless his soul.  I’m not going to judge his prejudices, I didn’t walk in his shoes and it isn’t my job to judge; I honor and respect him despite his shortcomings.

With the help of a little maturity, and God sending our Pastor to the building I worship in, I decided it was time to expand my knowledge of MLK Jr so off to google I went.  The first thing that caught my attention after typing his name into the search box was located on the right side of my computer screen; one color photo, some black and white photos of Mr. King and some basic information.  My feelings softened a little when under his name was “American Minister”.

Mr. King was born January 15, 1929 in Atlanta Georgia and died on April 14, 1968 in Memphis Tennessee.  He was assassinated.  Assassinated.  Someone took it upon himself to decide when Mr. King would die, and that was on April 14, 1968.

As my mind wandered to my readings in the Bible where Jesus told his disciples they would suffer for spreading His word, I searched and found this verse in Matthew 24, verse 9:  “Then you will be handed over to be persecuted and put to death, and you will be hated by all nations because of me.”  

I haven’t the time right now to find out more about Mr. King, but I did read that the man that pulled the trigger was a racist.  Mr. King was fighting for the rights of human beings.  Human beings created by God, just as I was.  I read a portion of his last sermon on April 3, 1968, in Memphis, and I’d like to share it with you:

“We’ve got some difficult days ahead. But it really doesn’t matter with me now, because I’ve been to the mountaintop…And He’s allowed me to go up to the mountain. And I’ve looked over, and I’ve seen the Promised Land. I may not get there with you. But I want you to know tonight that we, as a people, will get to the promised land.”

My opinion of Mr. Martin Luther King Jr. changed today.  I think I will download one of his books and read it.  Perhaps I can make a difference in how someone else views Mr. King as my Pastor sparked my interest in changing my view of him.

In closing, this spoken by Mr. King is worth sharing, and hopefully will make you do some pondering:

“Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.”

Rest in Peace Mr. King.

Always pondering,

dar

I’m currently thinking about how much I wish I was sitting at my kitchen table with a cup of coffee, being lost in the scripture.  Being a person of organization, I find myself getting lost in finding a way to get everything I want to remember down in black and white so I can have easy access when the time arises that it would come in handy, if it ever does.

As I sit at my desk and look at my monitor I have to smile at the little reminders I have printed on post-it notes stuck on the edges for easy access.  Now in case you are wondering how in the world I print on post-it notes I will explain that right now.  I opened a Word document and inserted a text box.  I then right clicked on it and formatted it to the size of the post-it note.  I left the text box outlined and printed the square on a piece of copy paper.  After printing the text box I went back in to ‘format shape’ and told it not to have the line.  I then saved it as “3 x 3″ (or 1.5″ x 2” because I did this for both sizes).  Then I can open up the document I saved and “insert text”.  After making sure it’s nice and centered I put the post-it note inside the square shape I printed, making sure the sticky part is at the top and run it through the printer again, printing only the text on the note.  (I had to format it to not have the lines around the box because it’s too hard to get it to print the lines “centered” on the post-it.  Otherwise I have to keep doing it until it’s pretty.

The point of this blog was not to inform you, the reader, about my OCD because I think the majority of you already know the extent of it, the point of this blog is to give you examples of the little reminders I have to frame my computer monitor with to get me through most days.

They are as follows:

“Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.  Romans 12:2”

“Now that faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.  Hebrews 11:1”

“Moral:  concerned with the principles of right and wrong behavior and the goodness or badness of human character.”    (Then under that)  “Have the courage to follow God’s law above human commands”

“Put a guard over my mouth, Lord; keep watch over the door of my lips.  Psalm 141:3”

“God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference”

“Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: ‘It is mine to avenge; I will repay.’ says the Lord.  Romans 12:19”

And last but not least:

“So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God.  I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right had.  Isaiah 41:10”

The bad news is I need each and every one of these reminders on a daily basis.  The good news is ……………………………….. I forgot.  Dang it!

Still trying …..

-dar

Morning coffee at the kitchen table, a new year and a chronological order reading plan to get through the Bible in a year, with the humming of the refrigerator as my background noise, another day begins.

My quiet time in study every day has been a literal mind saver by getting lost for a few minutes each day with God. This morning the plan had me read Job 6-9. The Book of Job falls in the middle of Genesis chronologically  and I smiled through a tear as I read and thought of a dear friend. A friend who has been an inspiration to me.

I have asked the question myself, and have heard many others ask, “Why does God allow bad things to happen?” The Book of Job is a prime example of bad things happening to good people. I have heard some understandable, or somewhat acceptable answers to that question, and have read several accounts of bad things happening to good people, but I still can’t seem to be able to pass the answer to that question on to someone else without stuttering and stammering. The study note for 1:1-2:13 stopped my eyes from moving slowly forward and caused them to back up and reread, then ponder this:

Sin has twisted justice and made our world unpredictable and ugly.

When I told my dear friend that Jim had been diagnosed with lung cancer, she reached over, patted my leg, and said “This is what God has been preparing you for.” Measuring her faith would be like trying to thread a camel through the eye of a needle.  She swore God put me in her life to help her get through the loss of her husband in 2012 from mesothelioma. During our conversation in the spring of 2016, we then had to ponder that perhaps God had put her in my life to help me get through the roller coaster God had now put me on. Over and over again throughout the last 8 or 9 years that Jim and I have faithfully been pursuing our knowledge and faith, I have often wondered why we were suddenly so “hungry” as a friend calls it, for knowledge.

Before my pondering could conclude, I had to pack up and head out to face whatever the world was going to put in my path today.  Traveling a few miles, waiting a few minutes, then having breakfast with my husband, my thoughts and concerns covered several areas of my life.  Past areas and future areas.  When it was finally time to continue with my study, I found myself in the study note for Job 1:9.

Satan accurately analyzed why many people trust God. They are fair-weather believers, following God only when everything is going well or for what they can get. Adversity destroys this superficial faith. But adversity strengthens real faith by causing believers to dig their roots deeper into God in order to withstand the storms. How deep does your faith go? Put the roots of your faith down deep into God so that you can withstand any storm you may face.

If asked again about why God lets bad things happen, I guess my best response would be “It’s not time to stop it yet.”  Until Jesus returns to end evil once and for all, we will continue to have Satan and his followers causing sin and evil actions to run rampant.  Just cling to the fact that we are not alone in the suffering, and when Jesus returns we will truly have peace for eternity.

I hope I can continue living with this belief, and I know if and when I start to slip, I have my sisters in Christ to reel me back in.

“I’ll celebrate the truth, His work in me ain’t through, I’m just unfinished.”

-dar

First of all, my posts via WordPress are always Biblically based and believe it or not, I will tie that in at some point in this “vision”. (Ha! There is it is!)

While pondering the way I would write about this “vision”, I was also starting a pot of coffee. After closing the lid on the brewer and pushing the power button, I grabbed my morning tissue to clear out my sinus’. This caused a second ponder when it appeared I had gotten a single layer as opposed to a two layer tissue…….

My Grandma Herbers was a diabetic and couldn’t live alone so she lived with Uncle Ray and Aunt Betty. Occasionally Uncle Ray and Aunt Betty would go up north and Grandma would come and stay here. I remember Mom giving her a tissue one day and her remarking that there were two stuck together. She separated them as I watched and Mom never said anything to set her straight. I wish I had gotten that trait from Mom; knowing it was best to just keep your mouth shut. Again, thank you God for my parents.

Now the rest of the story. I was at Tonya’s and Joshua had a stomach ache. After Tonya had gently pushed a few areas on his belly, and a quick visit to some internet website, I determined Joshua was having an appendix attack and we needed to head to ER immediately. I loaded Tonya and Co. into the wagon and began pulling them with the tractor to Saginaw. We didn’t get far when Tonya started complaining about being cold so I turned around and headed back to her house to load everyone in the Trailblazer. At some point during the transfer, we had gotten a tremendous amount of snow and it was drifting. We had only gotten about 2 miles down the road when Isabella realized she had forgotten her mini iPad so we had to turn around again. It was at this point Tonya started worrying that her Dad would beat us to the hospital, explaining to me that when medical things cause her worry she needs her Dad and had called him. Apparently when we headed back for the iPad, Isabella either turned into a baby again or we picked one up someplace along the way because I had to fasten down the carseat in the Trailblazer. At some point during our drifting snow journey to the hospital we had to stop for something. Joshua went outside and when it was time to head out again I checked to see where he was. He was walking around outside with an old farmer so I told him it was time to hit the road again. Now if you are a city person, I need to share with you that old farmers are very generous people, always concerned about their neighbors. So he gave me $1.00 to make sure I had enough gas to get to St. Mary’s. He then went inside and as everyone was buckling up I followed him. I laid the $1.00 on the counter near where he was standing and told him I was giving him $1.00 to say a prayer that we make it safely to ER before the appendix rupture.

I think you know the rest of the story ……… and then I woke up.

There’s always visions, none of mine ever come true, thank God for that!

-dar

It’s New Years Eve, December 31, 2017. So many are out on this frigid cold night or in their warm homes watching television while I’m sitting at my kitchen table, the only sound is the humming of the refrigerator, and Jim is nestled all snug in our bed. Many are celebrating the end of another year and anxiously looking forward to what 2018 will bring. Not me.

I’m once again feeling the need to lose myself in something, anything, Bible based. While tidying up my Quiet Room this morning I ran across the book Fervent by Priscilla Shirer that I started and never finished. I started it so long ago that I felt the need to start it all over again. She has a lot to teach us about the power of prayer. How. When. What. I will admit, she gives me a lot to think about, and to ponder …. and now that I’ve typed that I think they are one in the same, thinking and pondering that is.

Ms. Shirer suggests that our prayer life should revolve around us not being puppets of the devil. She brought to light the fact that Satan looks for our weaknesses and attacks us there. Therefore we need to put on our armor every morning in order to fight his attacks. It would be worth it if you would take a few minutes and read chapter 6, verses 10-20, of Paul’s letter to the Ephesians. Heck, read the whole letter while you’re there.

Anyways, Ms. Shirer polled a bunch of women about the ways the enemy attacks them. She boiled it down to the top 10, which is where number 5 caused the little mouse on the wheel in my brain to run for it’s life. Strategy 5 is titled “Against Your Confidence”. I don’t know what I was doing when God handed out confidence, but I definitely was at the end of the line and received only a few scraps, which is probably why I take everything as a personal attack instead of just sarcasm or a joke, neither of which I can take but am able to hand out, which is something else I need to work on.

She then elaborates on your confidence by saying “He constantly reminds you of your past mistakes and bad choices, hoping to convince you that you’re under God’s judgment rather than under the blood.” (I feel the need to elaborate about the blood. When mankind was living under the Old Testament laws, they had to make animal sacrifices to atone for their sins. In other words, the perfect young animal had to shed it’s blood because we screwed up. Under the New Testament, God sacrificed his only son to atone for our sins. His blood cleaned us, i.e. being washed in His blood making us whiter than snow).

It’s true, for me. The confidence thing. I’m constantly reliving a past mistake or bad choice. Something I said in anger or in defense that should never have come out of my mouth. Thinking about those I will never be able to apologize to, or those I’ve hurt without even knowing it. Those that I’ll never have enough courage to apologize to, or those I think don’t deserve it. Those that I may verbally attack in the future before saying it in my mind first. Then I think about past relationships that ended and I have no idea why. What did I do? What did I say? And I think about the things I should have said, or should have done, or would do differently now. In just a few minutes it will be a new year. I’m not ready for what it may bring. I’m tired of playing the hand I was dealt, I want to call a miss deal. But I can’t. I have to keep putting one foot in front of the other and trust that God will carry me when I can’t do it on my own anymore.

Tonight I will start my prayer asking for forgiveness, and then asking for help in not repeating those things I just asked forgiveness for. Then I will thank God for loving me enough to forgive me.

Still pondering,

-dar

It’s Christmas Day at 1:30 in the afternoon.  I’m still in my pajamas but I haven’t been unproductive.  Jim and I frosted the cookies I baked yesterday and I’ve washed dishes twice, even scouring the mess on the stove top.  While trying to catch up on my daily bible readings, I’ve watched an array of birds entering the squirrel feeder Jim made last week and hooked to the porch railing outside the kitchen window.  I’ve contemplated whether or not the squirrel would find it and wondered if he’s still living on our little piece of earth the Lord has provided.  It’s a good day.  The house is warm and Jim is feeling pretty good.  If I could, I would make this day last forever.

I’m blocking out the sound of Gunsmoke by listening to Pandora through earbuds, Instrumentals for Study.  I’m still in Revelation and have stopped on the study note for chapter 12, verse 12.  The verse reads:  “Therefore, rejoice, O heavens!  And you who live in the heavens, rejoice!  But terror will come on the earth and the sea, for the devil has come down to you in great anger, knowing that he has little time.”  The study note reads:  one of the reasons God allows Satan to work evil and bring temptation is so that those who pretend to be Christ’s followers will be weeded out from Christ’s true believers.  Knowing that the last great confrontation with Jesus is near, Satan is desperately trying to recruit as great an enemy force as possible for this final battle.

Now I sure don’t think it suggests that the end is near as in months or years, like so many thought was going to happen in Y2K, but compared to eternity any amount of secular time would qualify as “near”.  And whenever I hear or speak the word “secular”, it causes me to ponder the changes I’ve witnessed in my lifetime.  Just to be clear, (which is a saying I hear all to often at work and usually causes anger), secular is defined as “denoting attitudes, activities, or other things that have no religious or spiritual basis.”  Recently I heard the word “evolved” when it came to attitudes and beliefs of the secular society of today.  I do not believe God has “evolved”, I think it’s the way mankind can justify their actions in order to live the way they want and not the way God wants.

I am far from perfect.  Really far.  Short of murder, I’ve committed the remaining nine commandments in one degree or another.  Everyone has.  Thankfully God sent his only son to be the ultimate sacrifice for our sins.  I thank him often for that because I seem to continue to sin in one form or another on a daily basis.  But I’m trying, and although I’ve never read “practice makes perfect” in the Bible, I think it holds some merit.

In closing, I feel we have caused all the problems down here by doing too much justifying and not enough obeying.  Now I ask that if you want to defend the changes made by our secular selves, let me know the book, the chapter, and the verse in the instruction manual that tells us it’s okay to do it.  For those of you that don’t believe in the instruction book, if I’m wrong I have nothing to lose.  But if you’re wrong, you everything to lose.

Always pondering,

dar

I’m not certain my title is actually appropriate since this ponder isn’t about 2 Samuel 8, although in our study books for 2 Samuel 8 we are given what are called “For Further Study” topics located on the side of the pages. Mr. J is quite adamant that we complete these topics each week.  The one for this week includes 24 verses from the New Testament we are to look up and answer this question:  What more do these New Testament passages teach us about that everlasting kingdom? The very first one was Matthew 5:3 which reads “God blesses those who are poor and realize their need for him, for the Kingdom of Heaven is theirs.” Now you would think the answer would be relatively easy, the Kingdom of Heaven is for everyone who is poor and realizes their need for him. Right? Yes. But …… I pondered having heard at some point that the “poor” aren’t the ones who have no money, they are the ones that are spiritually poor. So, once again, I had to head the the study note section in my Bible. Although the thing in the note that stopped me short, had me want to reread it, then highlight it, and had nothing to do with the Kingdom, was this: …. heartfelt obedience is more important than legalistic observance.

Basically, it is my opinion that though each define basically the same thing, minding or obeying a rule or law, each one is completely different.

The other day on some Christian radio channel or some podcast or some thing I was listening to, I heard a story of a young girl who was out on a date with her boyfriend. They were attending a social function at the school with a group of other kids when someone reported a party going on at the home of a fellow student whose parents were not home and adult beverages were being served. The group of kids all decided to attend that party and as they were heading to the door, the young girl asked her boyfriend to take her home instead. Another girl there proceeded to verbally attack her by saying “What’s the matter? Are you afraid you’ll get in trouble with your daddy?” At this point the young girl replied “No. I’m afraid I’ll disappoint my daddy.”

In my opinion, had she not gone to the party because she might get is trouble would have been “legalistic observance”. But her not going to the party because she would disappoint her dad was “heartfelt obedience?” In either case she was not going to do something she shouldn’t have, but only one of the options came from the heart.

Still pondering,

-dar

On youth Sunday, Vicki asked me to help her with the December 20th Advent service. She asked me to do the message. That’s when my pondering, and panic, began.
In studying the Bible here at Trinity, besides the Bible, Google has become my best friend. I’ve learned that I am a disciple of Jesus Christ, a follower or student of a teacher, leader, or philosopher. I’ve also decided I need milk, I’m not ready for solid food yet.
When I began the Disciple Study in 2013, Christmas was the one Biblical fact I was sure of, it’s the celebration of the birth of Jesus. The first time I remember having to know what “Advent” meant was when Miss VanLoon asked me if I was interested in hosting a table ….. which was before I had become a disciple. I’m sure she had no idea ….. that I had no idea what “Advent” was. She explained I would decorate a table, 5 or 6 people would sign up to sit at that table, and we’d share a meal together. I really can’t remember what else she told me but I agreed to host a table. I was excited, bought some pretty fall decorations, and had my table setting all figured out. After all, Christmas was still a long way away, it was actually close to Thanksgiving when she asked me. Then I found out it wasn’t fall decorations I should have bought, it was Christmas decorations. Long story short, I returned the fall decorations, bought Christmas decorations, arrived at the church early the day of the celebration, during a snow storm, only to find out the celebration had been canceled due to weather and I had apparently left for the church before the call came informing me to stay home.
I decided if I was going to do the message, the first step was to find out how many words would fill a 10-minute block, so off to my best friend Google I went. It was there I found that the average person speaks 125 to 150 words per minute, and thanks to Mr. Marshall it didn’t take me long to do the math. I was limited to 1250 to 1500 words. (Word count, 540)

Now for my topic. As a disciple, a learner, I decided to ponder “Advent”.
With the help of Mr. Webster, I found Advent is defined as the period beginning four Sundays before Christmas and is observed by some Christians as a season of prayer and fasting. This made perfect sense to me, we pray we find time to get everything done, and we fast because there’s not enough time to eat.
In preparation for the birth of our Savior, several use Advent Calendars which count the days of Advent in anticipation of Christmas. The Advent wreath, four candles on a wreath of evergreen, is shaped in a perfect circle to symbolize the eternity of God. A candle is lit each of the four Sundays prior to Christmas day, they represent hope, love, joy, and peace; four virtues Jesus brings us. The fifth and final candle is lit on Christmas Day and represents Jesus, the light of the world.
Next up in preparation may be decorating a Christmas tree. In my research I found the evergreen tree used in decorating is a symbol of life in the dead of winter, an everlasting life with God. After all, the evergreen tree is ever …… green, ever ….. lasting.
Now gift giving. The Bible tells us a group of distinguished foreigners visited Jesus after his birth, bearing gifts of gold, frankincense and myrrh. Three wise men to be exact. (It was at this point I took a minute to ponder the number “three”. Triple…. Trinity…….. Father, Son and Holy Spirit. If I remember I’m going to ask Joe if there is any significance here.) Anyways ….. I would have thought of taking clothing ….. diapers ….. and a rattle. (Word count 829)
Moving right along, celebration may be next in our anticipation. I’m fairly certain food would play a part. (In my learning, I’ve often heard about Methodists and food. That’s not a bad thing. I’ve thought about bad things when I think of other religions ….. but I won’t go there. Now back to food. Wait a minute ….. aren’t we are supposed to be fasting? I wonder if my family would buy that? Or maybe the fasting would end on the 24th? I’ll play it safe and just have snacks.
Moving right along, the Advent season would not be necessary if we didn’t have a baby. Our Savior. We need a mom. Now I’ve been aware for some time that God chose a virgin to bear our Savior, but what I don’t recall ever hearing, or reading for that matter, was the conversation Mary would have had with her parents …….. especially her dad, when she announced she was pregnant with “that” baby. Now I don’t know about any of your dads, but mine would never have bought into the whole “Holy Spirit” story. I won’t go any further into that subject due to the fact I’m now at 1,031 words.

To make the celebration complete we need family. Mr. Webster defines family as a group consisting of parents and children; descendants of a common ancestor. In Darlene’s dictionary, family also includes neighbors and friends. And it includes all of you. After all, this church is a “family” of believers in Jesus Christ, the reason for the season.
Now it seems to me, I’ve touched on the basic ingredients needed for an Advent season, and as with every recipe, each of us adds our own ingredients to make it a family celebration.
In closing, it is my opinion Linus summed it up best. With the help of Luke in chapter 2, verses 8-14:
And there were in the same country, shepherds …
abiding in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night
when lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them
and the glory of the Lord shone round about them
And they were so afraid, and the angle said unto them
“Fear Not, for behold, I bring you tidings of great joy,
Which shall be to all people.
For unto you was born this day, in the city of David, a Savior
Which is Christ the Lord.
And this shall be a sign unto you,
You shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes lying in a manger”
And suddenly, there was with the angel, a multitude of the heavenly hosts,
praising God and saying:
“Glory to God in the highest, and on earth, peace, goodwill toward men”
That’s what Christmas is all about Charlie Brown.
I am looking forward to celebrating with presents this Christmas, the presence of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.
I’d like to take the time now to thank Vicki for asking me to help out. I’d like to thank you for accepting my family with open arms. I’d like to thank Pastor Tim for the light he shines in this church, and I’d like to thank God for sending his Son to be our Savior.
Merry Christmas everyone!

While sitting in a restaurant with Jim this morning I overheard a gentleman telling the waitress that he was going to be doing 2 services at the prison this weekend. He was going to ask them if Jesus was the reason for the season and he was sure they would say yes. Then he was going to go through the creation story and sin entering the world. He would conclude with telling them God sent his only son to be the ultimate sacrifice for our sins. Before leaving he was going to ask again if Jesus is the reason for the season and they would say yes. He was then going to correct them by saying “No. We are.”

You never know who is hearing your conversations and how many lives you can touch without even knowing it. He knows he touched mine when I thanked him and wished him a Merry Christmas as we left.

Ponder that.

-dat

In my study of Revelation, I found myself comfortably settled in the study notes.  By reading them first, it’s slightly more likely I will understand the verses. Revelation is hard.  I am determined.

I was slowly reading along, sometimes rereading when I realized my attention was on something else, when out of nowhere manna appeared. Not literally of course, but I have read about manna several times in the Old Testament. It first appeared in chapter 16 of Exodus.  The Israelites had been led out of their captivity in Egypt by Moses after he killed an Egyptian and had taken off for several years until he saw a burning bush and God sent him back to Egypt to rescue the enslaved Israelites. Now you would think with the help of God it would have been an easy task to get the Israelites out of Egypt.  But I’ve learned the hard way that with God comes stuff. A lot of stuff.  And before he let Moses lead the Israelites out of Egypt a lot of stuff happened.  Frogs, locusts, lice, livestock, flies, darkness, bloody water, hail, festering boils, flies, and lets not forget the death of the firstborn. Then there was a huge river, chariots, a Pharaoh, clouds, light, and finally peace at last in the wilderness. Then the whining and complaining started. The Israelites had witnessed all the miraculous things God had done but they still didn’t trust him enough to get them safely to the Promised Land. They were hungry. This is where the manna came in to play.   From Exodus 16:13 “That evening quail came and covered the camp, and in the morning there was a layer of dew around the camp. 14 When the dew was gone, thin flakes like frost on the ground appeared on the desert floor. 15 When the Israelites saw it, they said to each other, “What is it?” For they did not know what it was.  Moses said to them, “It is the bread the LORD has given you to eat.”

Anyways, the study note that caused this whole ponder was for Revelation 2:17.  “Hidden manna” suggests the spiritual nourishment that the faithful believers will receive. As the Israelites traveled toward the Promised Land, God provided manna from heaven for their physical nourishment.  Jesus, as the living bread of life, provides spiritual nourishment that satisfies our deepest hunger.”

Now wait a minute.  Manna was Old Testament.  Old Old Testament.  So then I had to go to the actual scripture in Revelation:  “Whoever has ears, let them hear what the Spirit says to the churches. To the one who is victorious, I will give some of the hidden manna.  I will also give that person a white stone with a new name written on it, known only to the one who receives it.”

Manna like Jesus came from Heaven to give us nourishment.  One was physical, the other spiritual.

I’m a fan of the Old Testament. It’s act 1, and without an act 1 you can’t have an act 2. As I’m pondering this I wonder about when act 3 will be written. The final book in the Bible is Revelation, it predicts what is yet to come, perhaps when Jesus returns, act 3 will be written.

Now there’s about 5 minutes of your life you will never get back, I hope it was worth it.

Pondering a lot of stuff today,

-dar

This morning as I was driving to work late, I began pondering “Karma”.  Karma came to mind because of all the times I have judged others for being late for work.  Then the serious pondering began.

God has been called a numerous amount of names throughout the history of ….. well  since the beginning.  Lord, Yahweh, Father, Most High, Abba, the list goes on.  One name I have yet to see for God in the Bible is “Karma”.  Though secular society decides what words should be in the Dictionary by way of popular demand, they have yet to have the right to decide what should be in the Bible; yet they seem to think, by way of popular demand, that they do have that right.  That, my dear readers, is another ponder.

In pondering the insignificant little tidbit of tardiness, I have come to the conclusion that perhaps the word “Karma” needs to be changed.  Perhaps to “punishment”?  “Payback”?  “Humility?”

Now the pondering needs to end so the work can begin.

-dar

During the night I woke up several times and heard the wind howling outside our window. Wind makes everything colder and causes damage to anything not bolted down or deeply rooted. As I made my way from the bedroom to the coffee pot, I glanced out the kitchen window and saw a little leaf still clinging to the branch on a small tree at the edge of the creek across from our house.

As you all know, my husband is a deer hunter. Every single chance he gets, even while driving down the road, he is looking for a deer. Any deer, any distance, any where. This poor little leaf clinging to that little tree has caused my husband’s heart to skip a beat several times this fall. To the deer trained eye, and the need to know what direction they are going, and factoring in temperature and wind direction, this poor little leaf clinging to it’s parent, is often mistaken for a deer at the edge of Larner’s woods. I suggested last weekend that he go over there and pluck that little leaf off the tree, to which he replied that he had thought about doing just that. This morning while still half asleep, as I made my way toward the coffee pot, I noticed that little leaf was still there, being tossed to and fro by the wind, clinging to it’s parent. My first thought was “Now that little leaf is a sure sign of perseverance”, and I smiled. Then the pondering began.

We are currently being tossed to and fro by the winds of life. Everyone deals with wind of some sort during their lifetime, some with just gentle little breezes and some with gale force size winds, and the majority with something that lies in between. As I considered the perseverance of that little leaf, I felt comfort in knowing we are at a place in our journey where we are lucky to be rooted to the Vine, and whatever the strength of the current wind, we will persevere too.

Always pondering something,

dar

In regards to my blog title this morning, I have a few different responses to striking anything from the record.  Although it won’t be written down in a court transcript ….. or will it?  Will the fact that something was said, therefore something was heard, and somebody doesn’t want you to have heard it, so they pretty much tell you to forget it,  mean I can just push the magic delete button and erase it from my memory?

I was in such a good mood this morning.  I read a post from a friend about listening to the 60’s station and hearing a song that requires you to turn the volume up and sing along.  I was actually singing along without hearing the song, just because she brought it up.  The sad part about my happy mood was I could only remember one line of the song, which only involves two words, but I was singing them proudly in my mind anyways.

Upon arriving at work 9 minutes late because I left 15 minutes early, my mood began to plummet the minute I punched in.  “Running late are we?”  At which point I was followed in to my office so I could hear 10 minutes worth of explaining about something that I did not even need to hear, it didn’t involve me.

Some of our church members struggle with the service being 60 minutes long. Apparently the pastor’s message is to be no longer than 20 minutes or the parishioners revolt. I have a hard time with this concept, perhaps since I feel I have a lot yet to learn. This has been a hot topic for several years now and I’ve heard many reasons for a time limit needing to be enforced; though none hold any merit …… in my opinion. Through the Disciple study I have read several accounts of people following Jesus wherever he went with a yearning to hear more. Sometimes staying with him long enough that he felt the need to feed them with more than just his word. I don’t recall ever reading where a buzzer went off indicating his time was up. (If you know where that is found in the Bible please share it with me.). I in no way shape or form feel I am perfect, which is why I continue to read and attend studies. After all, the healthy don’t go to the doctor, the sick do. Therefore the sinners need the Word.

In studying the books of Samuel, we are constantly reminded to go to God first in all instances. I could go on about this topic for several more minutes but I will save you that monotony as it’s all in the Bible if you need instruction. I will leave you with what caught my attention this morning, from the study note in Ezekiel:

Ezekiel 2:6-8 God gave Ezekiel the difficult responsibility of presenting his message to ungrateful and abusive people. Sometimes we must be an example to or share our faith with unkind people. The Lord told Ezekiel not to be afraid, but to speak his words, whether or not the people would listen. He also wants us to tell the Good News, whether it’s convenient or not (2 Tim 4:2).

Still pondering,

dar

I’m sitting by the popcorn in Target waiting for Tonya. My feet hurt.

The subject of pictures with Santa came up and I remember being all done shopping one Christmas. We went in Weigolds Floral and Santa was in there. Ryan got right up on his lap and when Santa asked him what he wanted for Christmas he proudly proclaimed “A flashlight.” Turns out I wasn’t done Christmas shopping after all.

Christmas shopping pet peeve: when I ask a store employee if they have something and they reply “I don’t stock that.” If your last name isn’t Barnes or Noble and you don’t own the store, you shouldn’t reply “I” anything. This happened to me in town one day when I asked for a certain vitamin in one of the pharmacys. She (who was not the owner or even a full time employee) replied “I don’t stock them”

Pondering where I might find Tonya,

dar

Tonya seems to have no filter today and she’s being quite vocal.  Her word for the day is ‘redundant’.    Here are her ‘redundant’ issues thus far for today:

NIC Card.  NIC stands for ‘network interface card’ so please don’t say “NIC card” in front of her.  “Because you are saying ‘network interface card card'”!!

ATM Machine.  ATM stands for ‘automated teller machine’.  Thus if you say “ATM machine” you are actually saying “Automated teller machine machine’.

UPC Code.  “Universal product code code”

HIV Virus.  “Human immunodeficiency virus virus”

PIN Number.  “Personal identification number number”

ACT Test.  “American college test test.”

VIN Number.  “Vehicle Identification Number number”

LCD Display.  “Liquid crystal display display.”

And last but not least:  RAS Syndrome.  “Redundant acronym syndrome syndrome”.

Consider yourself forewarned.

Now I need to get back to paying the bills and trying desperately not to speak with abbreviations today.

Pondering trivial issues,

-dar

Purge.  verb.  rid (someone) of an unwanted feeling, memory, or condition, typically giving a sense of cathartic release.  

Cathartic.  adjective.  providing psychological relief through the open expression of strong emotions

Today I was privileged to hear what seemed like 752 words when in fact, 7 words would have been enough.  I turned to my friend and said, “All that did was clutter up my mind.”  Then the pondering began ……………………………..

I pondered on the amount of useless information that has entered my mind over the 61 years of my life, and I pondered how many times my memory was full and had to purge random information before the blue screen of death appeared.  Unfortunately, I wasn’t given the opportunity to pick and choose what to purge so inevitably the useless information remained, and things like 8 x 7 = ? were the things that were now long gone.

As I was trying to stay focused on the task at hand, and my mind was heading to areas that were not beneficial to the task at hand, it dawned on my how I could control what I needed to purge.  I could write it down and let my readers deal with it.  (Thank you very much by the way.)

I was pondering about how we went to WalMart after Jim’s chemo treatment yesterday and the man at the checkout we went through had really tested my patience a few years ago.  Yes, I remembered he was the one that could have sent me on a crime spree had I not been raised not to do that.  (Side note.  As I’m writing this blog and pondering my next sentence, I’m also working on the checkbook.  I have the Citizens Bank website open and the guy fishing from the boat looks like Bob Harper.)

Anyways, I can tie the WalMart guy, I’ll call him Bob, into the story because it’s worthless information I need to purge.  So here goes.

I went grocery shopping at WalMart a few years back and I had picked up a 12-pack of pop and put it on the rack under my cart.  I went through the checkout, paid for my groceries, and proceeded to the car.  When I got out to my car I realized I had not pulled that 12-pack of pop out and put it on the belt.  The cashier had missed it too so I put it in my car and went back in to pay for it.  I went up to the service counter and ‘Bob’ asked me if he could help me.  This is how the conversation proceeded:

Me:  I just got my groceries and as I was putting them in the car I realized I hadn’t paid for the 12-pack of Diet Pepsi under my cart.

Bob:  Where is it?

Me:  In my car.

Bob:  Well how can I ring it up if you didn’t bring it back in?

Me:  Perhaps you could page someone in the grocery department and ask them how much it is.

Bob:  I could, but nobody ever calls us back.

(At this point I filled with rage.  RAGE I tell you.  I calmly said “Okie dokie.”  I walked to the back of the store, picked up a 12-pack of Diet Pepsi and marched back to the service counter and gently (not) placed it on the service counter.

Me:  There’s a 12-pack.

(Bob scanned the bar code, told me how much I owed him and I gave him the cash.  I then turned to walk away)

Bob:  Hey!  Aren’t you going to take your pop?!

Me:  THAT IS NOT MY POP.  MY POP IS IN MY CAR.  I FORGOT TO GET IT OUT FROM UNDER THE CART WHEN I PAID FOR MY GROCERIES AND REALIZED IT WHEN I WAS LOADING MY CAR.  

Bob:  Oh.

As my pondering about purging this went on, I decided there had to be a scripture lesson in it.  I found this one:

2 Corinthians 8:21 For we are taking pains to do what is right, not only in the eyes of the Lord but also in the eyes of man.

Always pondering some useless bit of nonsense,

dar