dar334

This morning after getting ready for another work day, I sat down at the kitchen table, coffee in hand, and checked my email.  I need to start my day with the Word so I signed up to get the Upper Room Daily Devotional delivered to my inbox and start my day with that.  After reading today’s devotional, I opened my current Sunday School Study book on James and turned to Lesson Three.  It instructed us to read chapter 1:9-11.  The first question was in regards to verse 9 and then it gave us “Optional” verses to look up that reference the same teaching.  The first optional verse was Luke 6:20 – Looking at his disciples, he said:  “Blessed are you who are poor, for yours is the kingdom of God.”  As usual, I went to the study note for Luke 6:20-23 and read “These verses are called the Beatitudes” …… the pondering began at the same time I heard Hotlips Houlihan in the living room and it was time to leave for work.

Throughout my morning, I found time here and there to research my thought pattern by turning to the worldwide web.  It was here I found Webster’s definition of  “beatitude”.  It’s a noun; 1) a state of utmost bliss and 2) any of the declarations made in the Sermon on the Mount (Matthew 5:3-11).

This sent me to Matthew 5:3-11.  To bring you up to speed, Jesus had been preaching throughout Galilee and news of him spread to Syria.  People were bringing him all who were ill with various diseases, those who were suffering severe pain, those who were demon-possessed, those having seizures, the paralyzed, and he healed them.  As I understand it, Jesus often retreated to remote places to pray and also to teach his disciples because upon his ascension to Heaven he would send them out to “spread the Word”.  Matthew writes in chapter 5 that Jesus went up on a mountainside and his disciples came to him there.  This is where he taught them the “Beatitudes” listed in verses 3-11.

The study notes tell us that God’s way of living usually contradicts the world’s.  You must be willing to give when other’s take, to love when others hate, to help when others abuse.  They are a code of ethics for all believers, they contrast kingdom values (what is eternal) with worldly values (what is temporary), they show real faith that Christ demands, and they show how the Old Testament expectations will be fulfilled in the new Kingdom.  It then goes on to say they are not multiple choice – pick what you like and leave the rest.  They must be taken as a whole.

I’m not going to list the Beatitudes here, I hope you will read and think about them for yourself.  You have the capability right in front of you, you don’t even have to get up from your chair to find your Bible.  The worldwide web is at your service, just search for Matthew 5:3-11 in whatever browser you use.  Do it.  I dare you.

In closing, reading this took about 3 minutes of your life you’ll never get back.  But on the other hand, it may have helped in getting you eternal life.

-dar

I’m currently sitting at my desk with all the doors shut and the radio off.  All I can hear besides the traffic outside is the humming of the fans.  We currently have more work than we have elves so the gentlemen that occupy the office with me are working in the field (figuratively speaking) and neither of my part-time helpers are scheduled for today.  The minute the last truck pulled out this morning I did everything I could to secure the location.  I’m not certain if I’m trying to keep the world out or me in.

After pressing the Send/Receive option for my email and waiting for it to download, I watched the number of new mail in my in-box increase to 31, which caused a deep sigh.  I try my best to be thankful for my job but it seems to keep taking more and more effort these days and my effort is approaching the “drained” mark.

As I was going through my mail, deleting and double checking, I found my Daily Scripture from Life 101.9:  1 Peter 2:2 – Like babies that were just born, you should long for the pure milk of God’s word. It will help you grow up as believers. 

I grew up as a believer but not with the pure milk of God’s word.  It has just been in the last 10 years that I’ve found myself “longing” for the pure milk.  I have the Holy Spirit to thank for that because He obviously knew I was going to need it.  And need it I do.  As I read and reread this verse, I found myself searching for the study note, and it didn’t take long to copy and paste this:  “One characteristic all children share is that they want to grow up—to be like big brother or sister or like their parents. When we are born again, we become spiritual newborn babies. If we are healthy, we will yearn to grow. How sad it is that some people never grow up. The need for milk is a natural instinct for a baby, and it signals the desire for nourishment that will lead to growth. Once we see our need for God’s Word and begin to find nourishment in Christ, our spiritual appetite will increase, and we will start to mature. How strong is your desire for God’s Word?”

I’m sickened by the news when I turn on our television so I don’t watch it.  I’m sickened by the advertisements that are shown during my 30-minute sitcoms so they are recorded and I fast-forward through them.  I’m discouraged by things I see on social media sites and by the time I get to things worthwhile I’m overwhelmed so I rarely open them.  The only peace and comfort I can find these days, the only thing I have to cling to, the only thing I can believe, the only thing that doesn’t knock me down, is God’s Word.  I don’t care how people manage to justify their actions, justify their decisions, convince others they are right.  The truth is God doesn’t make mistakes, and God doesn’t change the rules.  We do.  What we have here right now is temporary, I think I’ll keep working toward eternity.  God’s promised eternity.  His eternity has to be better than this.

I’ve decided my futile attempt to secure the location is to keep the world out.  I don’t like it very well anymore.

-dar

I started my “Bible in a Year” reading plan on January 1st. Not too far into the year, while still in the first book, Genesis, I had the pleasure of reading the story of Joseph. I love this story! I decided I would see what kind of book I could find on him that would take me deeper and courtesy of a Google search I found a women’s study by Melissa Spoelstra titled “Joseph, The Journey to Forgiveness”. I purchased the Participant Manual and the Leader’s Guide and the wheels started turning. With help from our Education Coordinator at church and a little prayer, the study started August 6th with a group of 10 women. It was an Introductory Class, books were handed out and introductions made. We ended our class with instructions to complete week 1 in our books.

I worked on my daily lessons slowly, reading “into” every verse, and taking the time to read through the study notes that have so much to offer. We met on Monday night and the discussions were amazing. I love studying with this group of women, they have so much to offer, and studying with others gives you different perspectives which are often beneficial. (Although comparing Joseph to the Flint Firefighter calendar photos probably wasn’t the best way to help us understand Potiphar’s wife’s attraction to Joseph).

A question from the video discussion section really got me thinking. “Do you tend to stuff, spew, or leak your emotions? Why is it so important for us to acknowledge our feelings when we get hurt?” Thankfully the ladies feel comfortable enough to share, even though sharing sometimes causes a few tears. When the others were done I told them I was a spewer. My answer to the second question was because I needed confirmation that I had a good reason to be hurt or even angry. I needed confirmation. It was only a second later that I realized I shouldn’t be concerned with having someone else agree with me, I needed to be concerned only with what God would think. That is point one, stay tuned for the rest of the story.

Point two: At some point in our discussions I shared a way in which I get rid of “stuff” without having to spew. I told them about the envelope or folded piece of paper that I have sitting near me at my desk and when I start stewing about something I write it down. Sometimes I can’t write fast enough and sometimes I’m pushing so hard I’m surprised the pencil or pen doesn’t break. At the end of the day, I run that old envelope or scrap paper through the shredder. I have been able to get the things out of my mind by writing them down, and I’m able to destroy those unhealthy feelings with the shredder.

Now here is how God reminded me today as I was working on the class program for this Monday that he is always present:

In regards to point one from above: I was watching the video this afternoon that I will show during class this Monday night when Ms. Spoelstra told us we spew because we want others to agree with us. We want others to “side” with us. She told her audience basically what I told my audience last Monday night.

In regards to point two: The “Optional Group Activity” from the Leaders Guide says, and I quote:

“Bring one or two paper shredders and provide a time of quiet reflection for ladies to pray and think about a situation or person they might need to surrender to God. ASK EACH WOMAN TO WRITE DOWN A SITUATION OR PERSON IN HER LIFE CAUSING HER RESENTMENT OR BITTERNESS. TELL THEM THAT AS THEY ARE READY, THEY CAN COME FORWARD AND SHRED ……… THEIR …… PAPERS ….. IN ….. THE …. SHREDDER!! (Emphasis added).  Be sure to explain that they are not symbolically shredding a person but their bitterness or resentment toward that person or situation.”

Now I’m not suggesting God put these words in this book at this time, but I am suggesting He put those thoughts in my mind as a “Wink” from Him when I read them.

I don’t know where you are in your life journey, but I do know that losing myself in the Bible is getting me through the most difficult time of my life right now. I hope when you hear God knocking at your door, you will open it and invite him in. If you get the desire to study, I will make room for you to study with me.

– dar

Per Mr. Webster:  KARMA, often capitalized : the force generated by a person’s actions held in Hinduism and Buddhism to perpetuate transmigration and in its ethical consequences to determine the nature of the person’s next existence

It happens.  Karma.

When you think about the times you’ve thought about karma, it’s generally a negative thought.  Somebody getting “paid back” for a unkind action they did in the past.  Take for example someone falling off their bicycle and another laughing and pointing, then the laugher and pointer gets on his bicycle and before long he falls off.  That’s karma.

I recently observed a situation I quickly labeled as “karma”.  I have been thinking about it, and feeling guilty about it, and even did some internet searching where I found karma to be a Buddhism belief.  I am a struggling Christian,   ♪♪ His work in me ain’t through, I’m just unfinished ♪♪   I need to stop thinking about karma, it’s not true, it doesn’t work like that, it’s a false belief, it’s not helpful.  With that said, what are those instances we so often want to refer to as karma in regards to our Christian belief?

After much thought, doing this and doing that, thinking, singing along to KLove, answering the phone, posting bills, stopping to be still and listen, I’ve decided the Christian version of karma could be what we build on.  If we build our spiritual structure on kindness and love, we will be rewarded with the same.  If we build our spiritual structure on deceit, lies, and evil ….. then I guess that’s what our return will be.  My Dad always said you reap what you sow.

Today I will try harder to build my spiritual structure on Rock, and plant seeds that, when watered by God, will grow into wheat as opposed to planting seeds that produce weeds.  In the end, the harvester will come and take the wheat to his barn, and the weeds will be gathered and thrown into the fire.  I know that because the Bible told me so.

Always pondering,

-dar

I try to plant good seed in good soil, but sometimes I find myself planting bad seed in fertile soil.

Sometimes I am the taunter.  Sometimes I’m the tauntee.  I’m gaining knowledge, now I need to work on gaining wisdom.

I’m also a justifier.  Since I am now recognizing when I’m planting a bad seed, being a taunter, I can justify it as a step in the right direction as I head down the path toward wisdom.  As I’m sitting here thinking, typing, backspacing, able to do so because the bad seed I planted earlier landed right where I wanted it to.  Now I’m feeling bad because I planted a bad seed and it sprouted, and I’ve realized once again, how often I listen to the evil one, then came to the conclusion once again, how terribly hard to be “good”, to  employ wisdom; and for the record, knowledge is “knowing”, wisdom is doing”.  “Doing” is a concept that is terribly hard because too often the wisdom, “doing”, isn’t what we want.  We are far too often “doing” what we want even though we have the “knowledge” of what He wants and the ability to act with “wisdom”.  (I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do)

I came to all these conclusions this morning when I realized I was “discerning” the wrong voice ……. again.  This only goes to show that I desperately need to be involved in Bible study.  ALL. THE. TIME.  It was not the voice of God I was hearing, it was the voice of the evil one.  The evil one was taunting me to plant a bad seed because the end result would be to my benefit.  I was taunting the mouse into the trap with a tasty sample of peanut butter and the end result would benefit me.

I’ve struggled these past years with parables.  I’m a “literal” person, and when I hear “the sheep follow the shepherd because they know him and he knows them”, that’s precisely what I grasp.  Fluffy little sheep following behind the guy with long stick.  Of course they follow him, he feeds them and protects them with his long stick.  (Just like our forefathers beat off the bears with their loose leaf notebooks while walking to school uphill both ways)  Had John wrote “the disciples follow Jesus because he feeds them and protects them”, I would have gotten it a lot sooner.  And don’t even get me started on how yeast spoils all the whole batch!

A parable is a simple story used to illustrate a moral or spiritual lesson, as told by Jesus in the Gospels.

Matthew, Mark, and Luke all wrote about a farmer who went out to sow some seed.  Some fell along the path and the birds came and ate it up.  Some fell in rocky places where there wasn’t enough soil so it sprouted then burnt up quickly.  Some fell in the thorns that ended up choking it out.  Some fell in good soil and produced a crop.  Although this was a valuable lesson if you’re a farmer, it was meant to be a valuable lesson in another way.  Thankfully the writers also told us the meaning to this story.

When someone hears the message about the kingdom and does not understand it, the evil one comes and snatches away what was sown in their heart.  This is the seed falling on along the path.  The seed falling on rocky ground refers to someone who hears the word and at once receives it with joy.  But since they have no root, they last only a short time.  The seed falling among the thorns refers to someone who hears the word, but the worries of this life and the deceitfulness of wealth choke the word, making it unfruitful.  But the seed falling on good soil refers to someone who hears the word and understand it.  This is the one who produces a crop, yielding a hundred, sixty or thirty times what was sown.

This blog started with a ponder about the kind of seed that I plant.  It is possible, unfortunately, to plant weed seed in the good soil, yielding many weeds.   Since Satan is famous for doing the polar opposite of what God wants, then it’s totally believable that he plants bad seed in good soil.  This reminds me of the harvest, when the weeds will be gathered up and thrown into the fire.

Using my “wisdom” to lose myself in something constructive instead of picking at all the scabs of life.

-dar

I woke up this morning after a good night’s sleep and my mind immediately kicked into high gear.  So many things, too many things, the hamster in my brain was running as fast as he could on that wheel that takes you nowhere.  I mindlessly read my daily scripture in 1 Kings and 2 Chronicles as I sipped on that first cup of coffee, and I can honestly say nothing at all was absorbed let alone retained for future reference.

On my drive to work I revisited recent happenings and conversations that were mixed with old happenings and conversations and nothing seemed to “mesh”.  I felt an overwhelming sadness.  I felt lost.  Defeated.  I prayed that I would be able to discern the voice of God today, if he had something to tell me, although I’m fully aware that in order to “hear” you have to enter “silence” and “silence” wasn’t going to happen for at least 9 hours.

Last night we watched the video for lesson 3 at the end of our “Discerning the Voice of God” study.  Ms. Shirer referenced Proverbs 3:5.  I smiled when she did because of the comfort I get from it when all else fails.   My mind then wandered back to a dark and hopeless moment when I memorized Proverbs 3:5-6.  Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding, in all your ways submit to him and he will make your paths straight.  It has soothed me to sleep more nights than I can count.

During the “Paperwork Shuffle” at my desk, I picked up my phone to check my email.  As usual, my finger tapped the trash can a few times, I clicked on some messages just long enough to get the new mail symbol to go away, saving them to read another time.  For some reason, I opened todays “Turning Point” email.  The first thing I read was “Lean not on your own understanding.”  Proverbs 3:5.  Ok.  This is NOT a coincidence.   For one thing, I don’t believe in coincidences.  I smiled and shook my head, and went to Mr. Webster, because that’s how I roll.  I searched for coincidence, mostly to verify my conclusion.  This is what he had to tell me:

co·in·ci·dence: the occurrence of events that happen at the same time by accident but seem to have some connection

After pondering this “coincidence” for a few minutes, I then scrolled to the bottom  of the email only find Pastor Jeremiah’s “Read through the Bible: Psalms 119”. . . . . . . . .  BACK. UP. THE. TRUCK!  This is the same Psalm Ms. Shirer also referred to last night!  I remembered it because it’s the longest Psalm or book of the Bible.  And I remember that because it’s my husband’s birthday.  1-19.

I realize there is a “format” so to speak of, where certain scriptures are taught during certain times of a usually 3 year period, so had Pastor Tim mentioned these 2 scripture verses along with Pastor Jeremiah it would make perfect sense.  Coincidence would not play a part, these 2 Pastors were simply following the official “format” of teaching.  But Ms. Shirer?  She does lead a church, but this study is not in the “format” of things to do.  It is simply the study we are in at the time.  It wasn’t even just released.  There is no logical reason for these same scriptures to be brought to my attention this week, in just 2 days  . . . . . . . .  unless . . . . . . . . . . I AM is behind it.  Right?  RIGHT?

I’ve read them on and off today.  Over and over.  I’m not hearing anything.  I don’t know what it is He wants me to hear.  We will be going on vacation shortly.  I’m taking my bag ‘o books and my Kindle which has a couple books I recently purchased downloaded.  I’m anxiously awaiting this vacation.  Perhaps He is trying to tell me this is the time I need to “submit to him”  by entering silence with the Word.  I’m going with that, unless of course, He tells me differently.

Trying not to fall off the path,

-dar

When all else fails, read the instructions.

I’ve been guilty of not reading the instructions more times then I can remember.  I take everything out of the box and just start putting it together like I’ve done it a hundred times before.  In some cases I have done it a hundred times before, or more like ten maybe.  Take an automatic drip coffee maker for example.  It’s obvious where the coffee and filter would go, and obvious where the water goes, and there’s only one cord to plug in so the only instruction I probably need to read is how to set the time and maybe how to program it so my coffee is ready when my alarm goes off in the morning.  Don’t even get me started on “Oh, those are just extra parts.”

Yesterdays email brought me the MI Area MIconnect for June 20, 2018.  I opted to receive these emails but rarely go farther then skimming the headlines.  As my eyes were skimming I stopped on the headline “ACs Mixed on One Church Model”, most likely because in the short portion of the article that was visible I noticed the abbreviation “LGBTQ”.  I read this article and even clicked on a link that took me to a YouTube video of a speech by Reverend Ron Renfroe which I then listened to in it’s entirety.  In my shallow little mind I mentally noted:  Church politics – Take 1.

Rarely do I probe into anything deeper than tonight’s supper, unless it relates to my Christian journey, and if I were to do some probing on something else, politics would be at the very bottom of my list.  I can’t focus, I don’t understand, I have no desire.  Even the mere thought of discussing anything to do with politics is quickly deleted from my train of thought.  I will leave that to those who know.

Unfortunately, the church in general is right smack dab in the middle of a huge debate revolving around sexual morality.  For the first time in my life I feel like I am being hit personally with a political debate.  The final decision will directly affect my safe place, my church, in the arms of God.  And for the first time in my life I find myself pondering, reading, grasping every opinion put in front of me.  I’m seeking out opinions of people I look up to, people I admire, people that are far more knowledgeable then I will ever be on the subject.  I’ve now decided I need to seek my guidance from the One that wrote the Instruction Book.  If we go by His instructions, reading every step, leaving no parts unused, there’s no need for a debate.  He has graciously laid it all out, in black and white, and red all over.  (Pun intended)  With that, I filed my thought process on sexual morality in the back of my mind.

When I got up this morning, the subject of LGBQRSTUV was the last thing on my mind.  After getting ready for work I grabbed my coffee and headed to my Quiet Room for some time in the Word.  When that dreaded “it’s time to close the book” alarm sounded I had just started writing a prayer.  Besides the quiet of that room, another useful advantage is I can just get up and walk away leaving everything right where it is, which is what I did.

After arriving safely at work, as I was doing the paperwork shuffle at my desk, I started yesterday’s podcast from Mike Fabarez.  Mr. Fabarez currently holds the number one spot on my list of “radio evangelists”.  He was talking about judging which pulled that “One Church Model” topic back to the front burner.  It was here that something spurred me to grab a piece of paper and write:

I want a church that teaches the entire Book.  No topic should be left out just as no step should be missed.  It’s up to me to discern from the Instructions how I will live my life and I will stand in judgement upon my arrival at the throne.  The true teacher is Jesus Christ himself and the Bible is our Instruction Manual.   It’s going to take a lot of reading, assembling, tearing apart, starting over, and I will inevitably end at the throne partially assembled, sporting blood, sweat, and tears.

We, as humans, make everything difficult.

-dar

I’m currently reading the controversial book mentioned in the title of this post and while doing so I’m keeping the words of the Instruction Book close at hand.  I often run across things in my Christian journey that inspire me stop and read them again, slowly, and often times I end up “pondering” them.  (So if you ever see me blindly gazing in one direction, not moving, and breathing lightly, you’ll know I must be lost in a ponder and my eyes are not really focused on any one thing.  As with a sleepwalker, approach me gently, suddenly bringing me back to reality may be hazardous to our health.)

I’m also involved in a womens study by Priscilla Shirer called “Discerning the Voice of God” which makes me now think that my ponderings may be Holy Spirit induced.  So as I’m sitting here trying to calm the pinball action going on in my head, I’ve now added yet another bumper post to bounce off of.

I took a short break to inhale deeply and distract myself for a moment in chapter 9 when my attention was drawn to this sentence spoken by the Holy Spirit to the main character in the novel, Mack:

“The choice to eat of that tree ^ tore the universe apart, ^ divorcing the spiritual from the physical. ^ They died, ^ expelling in the breath of their choice ^ the very breath of God.”  (I added the BOLD highlights)

Entering stage right – we have disobedience.  Sin.

I suggest you read it again, pausing for a moment where I’ve inserted a ^, allowing the Holy Spirit in your soul to induce you to gaze blindly at something not seen.  I’m not guaranteeing it will happen with you as it did with me, we most likely are not at the same place in our journey.

Now my pondering must come to an end for the time being.

Thank you for reading,

-dar

I was braving the heat earlier to plant 16 Lupine seeds, 2 seeds in 8 different spots  around the lighthouse that covers our well head.  I took some mulch from the pile that was left over from last spring and tossed it by the handfuls between each spot.  (Ok.  My mind just pulled off the main road of this ponder.  Hand.  Full.  Why is there an “l” missing in handful?  Shouldn’t it be handfull?)  Anyways ………………………..

As I was tossing the mulch, my mind started thinking about the message Pastor gave yesterday.  He told us a story about a little boy and a goldfish.  The family was taking a vacation and the little boy’s dad didn’t want him lugging around a goldfish so he told the boy he had to set his fish free when they got to the lake.  When they arrived, the little boy walked out on the dock, said his goodbye, and dumped the goldfish in the lake.  The little fish just stayed in one spot, it didn’t even attempt to swim into the wild blue yonder.  (Pastor didn’t put it that way but it’s the way my fingers wanted to type it)  The little boy stood there waiting, and the fish just remained in the same spot.  The little boy decided he would walk away, perhaps the fish was waiting for the boy to leave before it swam away.  After a little while, we’ll say after lunch and a nap, the little boy went back and there his little fish was, still in the same spot.  Pretty soon a bass came up and gulped down the little goldfish.  I will admit, I was afraid that was coming, and all we needed at this point was Nancy playing a piece from the movie “Jaws”, which made me just realize the next story is about a shark.  Ironic?

He then told about his fascination with sharks and the fact that a shark grows in proportion to its environment.  When placed in an aquarium it will only reach maybe 6inches in length, but if put in the ocean it can grow to 8 feet in length.  Then I started thinking about the moral of these stories.  Quite honestly, not through any fault of our Pastor, my mind got off track during his message to when we had an aquarium.  We had an algae eater, we called it a scumsucker, and it grew and grew and I started having nightmares about it after it had flopped out of the aquarium and I found it on the floor before it died and had to pick it up and drop it back in the aquarium.  I don’t know how to even begin to spell the sounds coming from my mouth while I did this and the dance that followed ….. well ….. I could have been in a jungle with feathers covering my body while dancing around a fire and others playing bongo drums.  Shortly after that experience, I gave the scumsucker away.

When I came in the house because the heat was draining me, I plopped a pillow on the floor and laid down in front of the fan to complain about the heat.  After my rant about hating the heat, my mind went back to the message and I had trouble remembering if I had even heard the moral of these stories.  I asked Jim if he remembered and told him I  wondered if it had to do with surrounding ourselves with people with Bible based faith, perhaps the amount we grow in our own faith is directly related to the environment in which we put ourselves.  He agreed, then added the importance could also be being active in a church and regularly attending studies with other Christians, thus growing further into the people God intended us to be.  I then started thinking about circumstances where I’m in the presence of people who swear, drink, criticize, judge ….. and isn’t long before those words I’ve worked so hard to eliminate from my vocabulary,  those criticisms and judgements I’m constantly working on eliminating, succumbing to having more adult beverages than I should have, and why?  Because I’m adapting to my surroundings.

That’s it for now, I’ve cooled down and I need to plant some sunflower seeds next.

-dar

I’m not really sure how many of you will instantly see “The Smith Look” when you read this title, my kids will for sure as the three of us have fondly named it this after receiving it innumerable times from Jim, my husband and their father.  I for one, have seen “The Look” several times, but “The Smith Look” ……. is different, it’s unique.  I’m not certain I’ve seen it from another Smith.  It isn’t frightening, it doesn’t make you want to stop what doing whatever it is you are doing.  It’s not the kind that means “If you don’t stop right now your are going to be sorry!”  It’s one of those looks that make you laugh.  Out loud.  It says “What the heck are you doing?” or “What in heck are you talking about” or “Have you lost your ever loving mind?”  One of those fun looks.  I gave it today, to my boss.  Only that “Smith Look” I gave to him expressed all the above examples at one time.

I’m in my twentieth year at this job.  Over the twenty years we have had anywhere from 8 to 15 employees.  We are a successful small business.  At any given point, there are rarely more than 3 here at a time.  I see my bosses (I have 2 of them) more than I see my husband, if you don’t take in consideration sleeping time.  We have laughed together, we have cried together.  We have shared graduations, weddings, grandchildren, and deaths.  We have wanted to ring each other’s necks.  So today, when B1 (Boss #1) came in my office with a receipt in his hand and walked over to the drawer where the Visa receipts go, and after opening the drawer he said “Don’t you have a folder for Josh’s Visa receipts?” and I said “No.”  his reply to that was ……. “Well.  What’s taking you so long?! What are you waiting for?!”  Now mind you, Josh just recently got a Visa card for work.  We have not even gotten a statement yet.  It was the very first receipt for that card.  I slowly turned around, gave him “The Smith Look”, at first, then it turned in to “The Look” and I said “SERIOUSLY?!  Maybe I’m waiting to get a receipt!  Ice ……… cracking …….. !”  At this point I think he realized the error in his ways and started laughing.  In my defense, I’m not busy doing just a couple tasks.  I have 2 part time girls that do the invoicing, which in itself has 1,000 different thing to remember.  I also have 1,000 different things to remember, and 1,000 different tasks.  From putting a new roll of toilet paper on because none of my “boys” knows how to do it, to payroll and insurance.  I’ve laid on my back on the floor and drilled holes for screws to hook my keyboard shelf back on my desk after B1 leaned too hard on it and broke it loose.  I’ve washed the windows.  There’s a lot of stuff to do.  There’s ……. A ……. LOT …… OF …….. STUFF.

The end result is I’m still sitting at my desk.  B1 is running a couple service calls so things are OK.  It’s been a crazy year.  We’re busy.  We are all stretched to the limits.  It’s hard to find good help.  We have some good help, but they are stretched to the limits too.  We have placed several help wanted ads in various places including the internet and haven’t even had one bite.  Anxiety is high and nerves are being stretched to the breaking point.  Whether or not I have a folder for Josh’s Visa receipts is the last thing on my list to be concerned about.

Now to work this into a faith based ponder …….. It’s been a hard couple years in my personal life and throw in the busy couple years in my work life.  I’ve resorted to an array of post-it notes that encircle my monitor on my desk.  They include Colossians 3:23 – Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men. 
Then there’s Romans 12:19 – Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge, I will repay,” says the Lord.  Romans 12:2 – Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.  My favorite one, and the one used the most is Psalm 141:3 – Put a guard over my mouth, Lord; keep watch over the door of my lips.  

In closing, I thank God daily because he never stopped knocking on my door.  I thank God daily that I opened that door.  My life, even though the worldly things have been hitting harder and closer, has become easier to deal with.  We live for today.  We enjoy today.  We thank God every day for “today”.  The things that almost drove me crazy before don’t affect me in the way now that they used to.  I still get upset, I still cry.  I still feel defeated sometimes.  But I am now able, with the help of my faith, to knock Satan off my left shoulder and move on, with Christ at my right side.

Listen for the knock.  There’s only one doorknob and it’s on inside.  When you hear it, open the door.  Let Jesus in.  It will make all the difference in the world.

-dar

For those that know me personally, this will be old news for you, for those who know me only through this website I will bring you up to date with the short version of my last 8 years.  I’m not certain what caused the bottom of my world to fall out, but it did.  It started in 2010.  That was the year our daughter was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis.  She was a happily married housewife and the mother of our two oldest grandchildren.  Not only was our daughter diagnosed with an incurable and debilitating disease, our son’s marriage ended leaving our two youngest grandchildren to grow up in a broken home.  I would be remiss if I did not also mention that was the year Brooks and Dunn broke up.  I can now happily report that our daughter is doing very well and our son has remarried and started a new life.  Our grandchildren are coping well with the circumstances of their childhood and I’ve moved on from country music to Christian music.  Had I not decided to start my Christian journey when I did, I would not mentally be where I am today, I can guarantee that.  To top it all off, in 2016 my husband of 40 years was diagnosed with lung cancer.  He too is doing well at this time.

My pondering started this morning while listening to a podcast by Mike Fabarez on money, or more importantly the lack of it.  He referenced Matthew 5:3 where Jesus tells us, “Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.”  Mr. Fabarez then goes on to tell us that this does not mean poorness through laziness, idleness, or recklessness, but having less in your checkbook because you have given more.  He then reminded me of Matthew 6:19-21:  “Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moths and vermin destroy, and where thieves break in and steal.  But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moths and vermin do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal.  For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.”

As my mind was absorbing these things, I thought about those whose checkbooks have less in them because they gave to our cause.  Our walk to create a world free of MS.  Their giving stored up riches in heaven, not riches on earth.  We cannot take the things we store up on earth with us to heaven, we need to store up things in heaven too.

In closing, I’m happy to report that this year our team raised over $4,000 to help create a world free from MS, and over the last eight years we have raised over $50,000.  We could not have done that without the help of so many wonderful people who have opened their checkbooks, storing up riches in heaven.   They saw a need, and they gave.  God bless them.

-dar

I recently read about the pleasure that first cup of coffee in the morning can bring. Sitting in the quiet and peaceful stillness of a new day. The tranquility of an uncluttered mind that lasts only a few minutes before life’s demands begin. For me, this setting is the perfect time to open my Instruction Book, and more times than not, begin to ponder.

Yesterday my daily reading was from the book of 2 Samuel, chapters 13-15, let the turmoil begin. Previously, God had chosen David to replace Saul as King of Israel. David was a good man, a “man after God’s own heart”, but as with any good man, sin is never far away. It taunts and tempts and beckons you. Although there are many sins, sexual desires seem to be at the top of most lists and it seems sexual immorality was at the top of David’s.

In chapter 11 David had spotted a beautiful young woman (Bathsheba) bathing and sent messengers to bring her to him. She got pregnant, David had her husband (Uriah) killed in battle, he married her, and she gave birth to a son. In chapter 12 God inflicted punishment for David’s sin by taking the life of the baby and letting David know that He (God) would bring calamity on his (David’s) whole family for generations to come.

Due to the many wives and concubines in the Old Testament, there were always several children in one household. One of few differences between then and now is there were many moms but generally only one dad then and now it seems there are many moms and many dads. And the odds of a child having the same mom and dad and having them also be married is rare in both instances. In chapter 13 we have, yet again, a young woman (Tamar) being taken advantage of by her half-brother (Amnon). Amnon was deeply in love with Tamar until his dirty deed was done, then he wanted nothing to do with her. Sound familiar? This incident did not result in a pregnancy that we know of, but it eventually led to revenge by her full brother Absalom. Absalom had Amnon killed and then fearing the repercussions, he fled.

My pondering came after reading about Absalom returning years later to his family home in Jerusalem and then plotting to take the kingship away from his father David.  You see, Absalom was angry that his father hadn’t done anything about the rape of his sister. He still wanted revenge. Upon hearing of his son’s plan to take over, David fled to protect the city and the people. One of his closest advisors, Ahithophel, joined forces with Absalom to destroy David. My pondering began when, even after reading the story several times over the years, I realized that Ahithophel was the grandfather of Bathsheba. Ahithophel wanted revenge for what David had done to his granddaughter, grandson-in-law, and the baby that was conceived out of sin.

Although Ahithophel is only mentioned a few times in the Bible, he played an important role in the calamity God caused in David’s life because of sexual immorality. Death, murder, revenge. I know how the story ends.  Spoiler alert! ……. Absalom eventually gets killed in battle, a battle with his own people and Ahithophel commits suicide.  From the line of David, we are given Jesus Christ.  All at the hands of God.

Sin has its consequences, and in this case the consequences started with sexual immorality.  Too bad we never seem to learn.

-dar