dar334

I grew up in a loving home with a father that seemed to live his life in almost constant fear. I honestly believe it was a trait, “a genetically determined characteristic” and not something taught. My granddaughter has a fear that mirrors her grandfather’s, having never witnessed it or even heard of it. I can see traits in my children that come from my father, traits that were not picked up as habits are.

I’ve spent the majority of my life being afraid of something, many of which were amplified as I listened to my dad talk about them with others. I paused on my journey this morning, resting with Mark on a verse 40 in chapter 4.

He said to his disciples, “Why are you so afraid? Do you still have no faith?”

“He” meaning Jesus, and the fear at hand was that of a violent storm; a fear my dad also had. In the disciples defense, they had heard the prophecies of the coming Messiah their whole life. Even though they believed, I’m sure they felt as we do today, it will never happen to me or in my lifetime ….. and then it does.

When “it” happened to me I knew what I had to do. I knew “it” was out of my control and I knew what I needed to do. And I did it. Immediately afterwards I felt a calm I had never felt before. Every weight I had put on my shoulders was lifted. And one of those weights was my genetically determined fear. Sure, I still feel anxious about a lot of things, like shots, or flying, or situations out of my control, but the fear of those things is now in God’s wheelhouse. When I feel them coming I’m confident my shield will ricochet them straight up to Him.

God is good.